Forget the highly glamorized, beautifully edited (yeah, that was hard for me to write) styling of Newlyweds, Kevin and Britney: Chaotic promises to be just that. Rough footage paired with candid confessionals and poor lighting. Seriously, could the producers make this show sound any less appealing? But regardless, don't call me during the show tonight. After, however, is OK.
The goods aka "Can you handle my reality?":
8 p.m. CDT
UPN (I didn't know they aired anything other than Blind Date. I once saw Roger Lodge on the El, BTW. He was wearing brown on brown. The shame!)
Tonight's show will be one-hour long, followed by three half-hour shows before the wedding finale (also an hour). The show will mainly consist of home video footage from the beginning on the relationship with recently recorded commentary. By next week I will have created the drinking game for the episode. Bottoms up is clearly "y'all."
In other news:
The South Florida Sun-Sentinel called K-Fed a "perennial skeeve" in print.
Jason Alexander has found a Britney replacement ... named Britney! The World Entertainment News Network had this quote from Hubby No. 1: "My new girlfriend's name is Britney, too. It's a strange coincidence. The difference between the two: she's a natural beauty, whereas Britney Spears has had a lot of cosmetic help." Yikes.
iAfrica.com headline "Britney 'lets herself go'" made me spit Diet Dr. Pepper all over the monitor at work earlier: "The pregnant singer has been seen wearing baggy tracksuits, no make-up and sporting an unbrushed, oily hairdo."
Today's name suggestion from the lovely Miss Holly is soooooooo hilarious and creative, I've been holding off on it. But now, your moment of Zen:
I'm thinking abstract, intangible things. Rhyme Trinity or Genesis Blue.
Maybe items that could pass for names that no one really knows the definition of anymore: Taffeta? Brindle?
Depending on Britney's/K-Fed's/the baby's birthday, an astrological sign such as Aries or Libra. (I don't think even Britney would go for "Cancer.")
Locations are out because Paris kinda ruined that. Though I could see her using London, or maybe the suspected location of conception: Vegas Spears?
Holly is a copy editor in Orlando, Fla., who got all these names from real Central Floridians while editing the birth announcements in her paper.